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Political Satire - The Borowitz Report New York Times - "Impeachment"  

 

GregBO
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01/11/2019 3:25 pm  

 

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—A nonpartisan study published by the University of Minnesota has found that the nation could save “untold millions” of taxpayer dollars by impeaching Mike Pence at the same time as Donald J. Trump.

The study, entitled “Operation bogo,” makes a compelling case for commencing an impeachment inquiry into Pence “as soon as possible,” its author, Davis Logsdon, said on Thursday.

“The cost of impeaching Trump alone or Trump and Pence together is virtually identical,” Logsdon, an economics professor, said. “This is all about economy of scale.”

“Taxpayers are already paying Adam Schiff to investigate Trump,” he added. “I’m fairly sure Schiff could be persuaded to throw in Pence for free.”

When it comes time to publish articles of impeachment against Trump, Logsdon noted, “It would cost almost nothing in terms of paper or ink cartridges to add the words ‘and Pence, too.’ ”

In the eventuality that Trump and Pence are removed from office simultaneously, additional cost savings could be achieved, Logsdon added. “They could share the same moving van,” he said.

In conclusion, the University of Minnesota study proposed that the millions saved by impeaching Pence at the same time as Trump could be spent on schools, roads, and paying down the national debt. “The question is no longer ‘Should we impeach Mike Pence?’ ” Logsdon said. “The question is ‘How can we afford not to?’ ”

Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

​"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." -Albert Pike

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland


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Untamed
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01/11/2019 3:42 pm  

🤣Good one!

I'm sure the courageous, strong and independent Nasty Polosi could just waltz in the Oval Office, point her hook of a finger and DEMAND that Trump, Pence and the entire administration move out of the White House within the month. If they don't do what Her Highness says it would be sexist and misogynistic, micro-aggressive-sexual-something-or-another where ALL the PoundMeToo whores would have a Twatter Trial frenzy and would throw fits of ugly saggy titty-shows and crotch-drenching chicken blood on the Front Lawn. 😉 Those devils are obsessed with race and sex, they can't help putting those two in whatever unsavory mix their sick minds can think of.

So a world leader had a conversation with another world leader about investigating corruption, OH WOW! What a novel idea 😮 Never thought of THAT before, lol

Don't let them blame, shame or tame you!


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GregBO
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01/11/2019 8:58 pm  

@untamed

It would be great if she tried.  First she would have to get an appointment, I can't even imagine how that conversation would go ... wait a minute, I can.

Her - Hello, this is Congresswoman Pelosi, I need a moment of the President's time as soon as possible.

Operator - Let me check Madame Congresswoman...  Hummmm, the President says "No, no time for you."  Good bye!

 

​"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." -Albert Pike

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland


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Untamed
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02/11/2019 8:44 am  
Posted by: @gregbo

@untamed

It would be great if she tried.  First she would have to get an appointment, I can't even imagine how that conversation would go ... wait a minute, I can.

Her - Hello, this is Congresswoman Pelosi, I need a moment of the President's time as soon as possible.

Operator - Let me check Madame Congresswoman...  Hummmm, the President says "No, no time for you."  Good bye!

 

I wouldn't let her past the guard shack if I were Trump. I wouldn't let that lying traitor anywhere near me.

Want to talk? Conference call only.

Don't let them blame, shame or tame you!


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GregBO
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04/11/2019 2:49 pm  

Of course, that's the only manner in which minor officials get time in the White House.  

​"What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal." -Albert Pike

​"​My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.​" - Clarence Buddinton Kelland


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