*NEW* Petting zoo addition to our barn  

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Old Buck
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03/08/2019 12:30 pm  

I am glad to announce the completion of TIMs petting zoo!  We added some acreage to the barn and wanted a place for our goats to stretch their legs.

Here, at TIM, we are animal neutral.  We are not biased against goats OR cats.  We appreciate most species here (left up to my sole judgement) and wanted to showcase the variety of life on this small planet.

 

To our goat loving Brothers, you are STILL welcome here, no matter how loud you want to scream!

 

 

note:  one species in particular, Homo Sapien Femalus Ignoranus, would be considered off topic.  There's your olive branch!

The visitors parking lot has been expanded and the beer tent, God rest its soul, has been replaced with a pole shed.  

 

Do NOT chase tail. Turn yours around and live FREE!


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Uly The Cunning
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03/08/2019 1:16 pm  

"Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did."
Groucho Marx: Duck Soup (1933)


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Matcha Savage
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03/08/2019 2:04 pm  

Lol, I have so far only read the title and looked at the pictures, but I already love the way this is going! Before I give the written words/videos a deeper inspection and evaluation let me just sweeten the intermission with another funny gif that has a goat.

Considering the videos posted by Old Buck and Uly: What the actual ! is up with these animals? What do you err Americans feed your goats with? Until this very day I have never seen or heard them doing that! Seems, I totally missed out! Imagine these creatures in the wild, being chased by lions and hyenas - to just faint and roll over like that. I mean, imagine the bewilderment of their hunters.

Now, it makes sense to add some more acres to the petting zoo for these goats to stretch their legs! These poor bastards are gonna need it!

I never considered myself to be "animal neutral", but it kinda makes sense.

Secretly, I always laughed at the very notion of a beer tent. Like you would need an institution like that only temporarily/during mild weather conditions.

 

 


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Don Keyknob
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03/08/2019 2:29 pm  

Gravity defying goats - 

I hope there's no working Donkey's on this farm!!

High Quality Donkey wearing sombrero Blank Meme Template


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Matcha Savage
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04/08/2019 9:29 am  

@don-keyknob

The butterflies in the higher regions of the mountains do that salt licking, too. I shit you not, when I am having a break from hiking and climbing and pulling me shoes and socks off, they in no time flock on to my feet and suck every tiny bit of salt out of the pores of the skin. Feels funny and looks funny, dozens and dozens of them gathering in no time and feasting on the salt.

What I really wanted to say, though, is that I like your attitude, brother Don Key!

Tell you what I have still to do in this life, is hiking with an actual donkey during summer. In the Provence, for example. I do not want to ride on the donkey or him to carry (all of my) my shit. Well, he ought to carry a little bit, "in public" at least, so I do not "have to explain to everyone", why he is with me in the first place.

The trick especially on the particularly hot days is to remain in the cool shadowy regions near the fresh and fast running water(falls), where there are loads of lush green things for the donkey to eat -and I can spend my time cooling off by taking one bath after the other, while (all day long) taunting and laughing at the donkey for being such a lazy ass. Aw, really gotta do this!

 


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Gringo Star
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06/08/2019 4:22 pm  

Goats are pretty talented.

I wonder what kind of events they would have if they held olympics. With a little practice they could do a goat vault with a sheet metal ribbon like in the above video, but that would be a team sport & goats don't really do those. Back to the drawing board I guess.

Inevitably it would likely turn out like the squirrel olympics, competitors too spectacular to be saddled down with trivial contests & lord help us if they ever get organized, we would surely run out of nuts.

 

Goats are far superior to sheep, way more personality, although, they can be troublemakers.

 

https://i1.wp.com/files.catbox.moe/9ps8dd.gif?w=1040&ssl=1

What a bunch of rascals.


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Old Buck
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06/08/2019 9:53 pm  

I wonder if that woman ever realized the was rolling around in piss and goat pellets!

 

Some goats are assholes!

 

Goat See GIF by Cheezburger - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

Peace Out Goodbye GIF by Cheezburger - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

Cat Licking GIF by Random Goat - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

 

Do NOT chase tail. Turn yours around and live FREE!


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Matcha Savage
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07/08/2019 4:56 am  

No goat was seriously hurt or injured performing the various stunts presented above. All participating goats have more or less given their consent prior to these actions taking place (karmic consent counts in this equation).

There indeed was a woman unknowingly rolling in goat pee and excrement, but it was her own idea, no one coerced or talked her into doing this, no one gave her any booze “to take advantage of her”  and at the time of the recording and her performing the rolling of her body in said endproducts of the goats’ astonishing metabolism she was very much compelled of having one of the best times of her life.

 

Buttermilk is my favorite goat, so far. He is kicking goat, for sure.


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Gargamel
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07/08/2019 2:52 pm  

Goats are as stubborn as women, LOL.

And they make likewise sounds.

In Germany, Goat ("Ziege") is a derisive household name for a stubborn woman. All over the country, in all dialects.

Often linked to the woman having a naggy and "complainy" voice and especially true if she is always right and causes a stampede over anything and everything.

Forever Uncunted - If it has a vagina, it has to go!


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Old Buck
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07/08/2019 4:54 pm  

Just like U.S. President Bill Clintons daughter, Gargamel!

 

Do NOT chase tail. Turn yours around and live FREE!


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Matcha Savage
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11/08/2019 9:33 am  

 

 

 

All the nations will be gathered before Him,

And He will separate them from one another,

Just as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.

He will put the sheep on His right and the goats on His left.

 

Then the King will say to those on His right:

Come, you who are blessed by my father,

Inherit the kingdom prepared for you

From the fountain of the world.

 

Matthew 25:32...

 

 

Goat Nation / I, Pet Goat II by Nerd of God

 

 

What other animals shall we keep at the petting zoo?

Well, donkeys, obviously, for they serve the Lord in their own way.

 

 

 

 

And they are cute motherfuckers.

Did I say "cute"? Enter the Valais Blacknose Sheep!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Gargamel
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11/08/2019 10:12 am  

For years, I had a petting zoo.

A special kind of petting zoo.

Once I had become "locally famous" and all of the women could easily see that I was doing well in business, they made every effort to make themselves visible to me.

Including rubbing their body parts on me when I was out eating in my everyday-restaurant. They forced themselves on my lap and made marriage proposals in desperation after all other previous attempts at getting a sweet life had failed.

I often got to feel tits being pressed against me, without consent, LOL. Or I could feel the gaping vagina in my legs when they sat down on my lap. They thought this would turn me around...

But I was kind and tender to them. Being glad to be given a reason to poke fun at their cuddling gold-diggery. Making jokes about them until the hate from other local cunts and jealous manginas hit me in the face.

But these women came to me for cuddling, stroking their fur and spanking them while they visibly enjoyed the treatment. And came back for more. I almost broke a cooking spoon one day. She wanted more and more. My big hands finally satisfied her, LOL

Everyone said to me: "I see you enjoy your petting zoo".

It was a zoo since every woman there - workers and cuddly guests - had been given a wild animal's nickname. Often these names far outlived the real name when these girls departed, moved on or left for home. (Most of them were illegal guest workers and they were actually not keen on being known by their real names anyway)

BTW, these wild animals gave me the name Gargamel back in 2002.

We had a roe deer, a squirrel, a weasel, a fox, a shrew, a rabbit, a mouse, a cheetah, a gazelle, an elephant (never called her that), a kangaroo, a coyote, Smurfette, Sassette, Nanny Smurf... (Yes, they too are forest creatures)

The resemblance of these names compared to the women they were given to was so ghostly close that any foreigner coming in and overhearing me calling the women by these names immediately laughed and understood.

All of these women actually had faces, hair color, body proportions, mimics and gestures like the respective animals.

That's why the names always stuck with them.

Forever Uncunted - If it has a vagina, it has to go!


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Gargamel
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11/08/2019 10:18 am  
Posted by: @matcha-savage

What other animals shall we keep at the petting zoo?

Well, donkeys, obviously, for they serve the Lord in their own way.

 

Cuddling Homo Sapiens Gold Diggers.

They enjoy every treatment. As long as they smell money on the guy who cuddles, spanks or even abuses them.

Only broke or average men get the false accusation threat and the ever popular "I call 911"-treatment.

Forever Uncunted - If it has a vagina, it has to go!


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Gargamel
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11/08/2019 10:22 am  

Not saying cats since they do have their permanent home on MGTOW.com.

Where they belong and will be until the end of times.

I had to leave a few thousand cats there so the underpaid female troll site operator gang has something to cuddle while talking to themselves 24/7.

But they must be running out of kitty litter by now. The truckload I left them is surely used up and the entire Cat Litter Island is now uninhabitable.

?v=1-0&inline=1

Forever Uncunted - If it has a vagina, it has to go!


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Matcha Savage
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11/08/2019 10:34 am  

Nomen est omen. I am glad (but not surprised), Gargamel, you kept your composure facing all these cuddling gold diggers going down to raise your interest. I see, being locally known for success, money and good business comes with its own perks and burdens.

Keeping gold diggers all year or even seasonally does not sound like too good an idea to me. They will make life uneasy for the animals around them, is what I am fearing here.

They are gonna nag and confuse the animals, when you are not looking, won´t they? Disciplining them continuously will cost a fortune in cooking spoons, won´t it?

 

edit: and when I say "confuse" here, I mean in a bad way


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Gargamel
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11/08/2019 10:47 am  
Posted by: @matcha-savage

Nomen est omen. I am glad (but not surprised), Gargamel, you kept your composure facing all these cuddling gold diggers going down to raise your interest. I see, being locally known for success, money and good business comes with its own perks and burdens.

Keeping gold diggers all year or even seasonally does not sound like too good an idea to me. They will make life uneasy for the animals around them, is what I am fearing here.

They are gonna nag and confuse the animals, when you are not looking, won´t they? Disciplining them continuously will cost a fortune in cooking spoons, won´t it?

No more use of cooking spoons...

That was almost a decade ago.

Since all of that feminist clown world crap and #metoo, I tell women that I have no interest and stopped "playing" with them.

Which is BTW what the all now complain about, worldwide. Men of status and responsibilities retreat from the pool of "available men" in fear of a #metoo takedown and reputation murder.

The only men that remain available to the cunts to game and play with are those with nothing left to lose.

Those men who can "lift a finger" in court (declare private bankruptcy) are untouchable, at least here in Germany. We now have a degressive genetical selection process in the making. Smart and wealthy men, better run and don't make babies. 

Forever Uncunted - If it has a vagina, it has to go!


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Gargamel
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11/08/2019 11:03 am  
Posted by: @matcha-savage

They are gonna nag and confuse the animals, when you are not looking, won´t they? Disciplining them continuously will cost a fortune in cooking spoons, won´t it?

They did drive away the regular guests with their bitching and complaining. No joke.

People asked me "Why do you still go there"... I said "I love animals".

The roe deer - because of the noise she made - often got duck tape on her mouth. By me - manually and in person - while the crowd watched and applauded.

They all knew that I can do shit like that and nothing will happen to me.

Weeks later, simply showing her the roll of tape already shut her up. At least for the time I took to eat. The boss made me food since she refused.

But in 2010, the cunt had to go or the restaurant would have gone dead. She became a problem because she "knew too much" about the (corrupt/mafiotic) owner and he couldn't kick her out because of her threats. He should have punted her years earlier. I kind of drove her away by ridicule. The authentic deer noises I learned to make drove her nuts. And my photoshops of her body with a roe deer head made the rounds in the village. Best ones were the pics with the deer body and her face on top of it. Including authentic swearword-laden speech bubbles.

I can still make deer noises that fool even real animals. Roe Deer barks are hard to learn and take a toll on your voice cords if you overdo it.

This exact video from 2007 made me learn to split audio from video files and turn the deer bark into a ring tone. My 1st generation smartphone drove her insane.

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Old Buck
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11/08/2019 8:04 pm  

You need to have chickens.  A good farm would have some free range chickens foraging around.  If you whack one with the 4 wheeler, don't worry, you are responsible for dressing it!

 

The Force Awakens Chick GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

The deer barking is unreal!

Now I see where the bigfoot stories come from.  If I heard that in the woods...

 

 

Do NOT chase tail. Turn yours around and live FREE!


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Matcha Savage
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12/08/2019 4:28 am  

The barking is really not an easy thing to imitate, is it? And, Old Buck, yes, I mean, I have heard these rumors, that if people do not know that deers make these noises, they easily can have the funniest imaginations of what could be out there in the bushes. Trolled by a deer!

 

That the gold diggers in Gargamel’s petting zoo drove away the other (I guess, regular) customers due to their nagging and bitching about is hilarious and it is a stroke of luck to hear that and avoid a mindless repetition. I do wonder, tho: Weren’t them gold diggers supposed to show themselves from their best sides to impress you with their overall being “a good catch”?

Isn’t that what a gold digger would have done, traditionally or dare I say: logically? Isn’t that what a traditional wamen still would do? Adapt to “her man” like silk to the skin and show off a fine behavior, a decent character, cleavage and excellent manners - only to be replaced with barking sounds and an endless nagging, once the fooled put a ring on it and the honey moon has passed?


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Matcha Savage
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12/08/2019 4:44 am  
Posted by: @gargamel
Posted by: @matcha-savage

Nomen est omen. I am glad (but not surprised), Gargamel, you kept your composure facing all these cuddling gold diggers going down to raise your interest. I see, being locally known for success, money and good business comes with its own perks and burdens.

Keeping gold diggers all year or even seasonally does not sound like too good an idea to me. They will make life uneasy for the animals around them, is what I am fearing here.

They are gonna nag and confuse the animals, when you are not looking, won´t they? Disciplining them continuously will cost a fortune in cooking spoons, won´t it?

No more use of cooking spoons...

That was almost a decade ago.

Since all of that feminist clown world crap and #metoo, I tell women that I have no interest and stopped "playing" with them.

Which is BTW what they all now complain about, worldwide. Men of status and responsibilities retreat from the pool of "available men" in fear of a #metoo takedown and reputation murder.

The only men that remain available to the cunts to game and play with are those with nothing left to lose.

Those men who can "lift a finger" in court (declare private bankruptcy) are untouchable, at least here in Germany. We now have a degressive genetical selection process in the making. Smart and wealthy men, better run and don't make babies. 

Oh, the ample supply of irony being totally lost on them.

I gotta say, having nothing to loose seems to be the best thinkable prerequisite to get involved with feminist clowns (female) head over toes!

As funny as this is on the one hand, the implications for our society (as this has become a new normal) are simply devastating. 

Well, this is no news to the informed man and will certainly not shock any TIM member, but nonetheless it is an awe inspiring shift of paradigms.

 


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